Work - Areas of Improvement

Ah the joys of work.  Really.  No I’m lying.  Work is not fun but it really should be.

1. I need to enjoy work.  That means that I need to remember why I loved doing what it is I do. 

2. I need to plan better for work.  I’m the ultimate procrastinator, most of my work is done at the last second and while it’s good quality I know with more time it would be great.

3. I need to think about where I want to go with my career.  Is this where I want to be or is there something more?

4. I need to achieve a better work/life balance.  Work is work and should remain there.  Life is life and should be mostly kept separate. 

5. I need more self esteem.  I need to stop second guessing myself.  I need to not assume what I’m doing is wrong but know that I’m doing the best that I can.

Spirituality – Areas for Improvement

Another one that’s hard to peg.  But here’s a few things I can think of.

1. I need to read the Bible.  Not just because it is the basis for my religion and others but because it would be a good idea to know the source of what I’m arguing for or against.

2. I need to attend choice not out of obligation but because I want to.  I’m a periphery member and in some ways that’s okay.  In other ways, I feel like I’m wasting everyone’s time.

3. I need to take time to meditate.  I need a chance to examine myself inside and out and meditation is one of the best ways to do that.

4. I need to understand my religion.  I started to do this and it was interesting and eye opening.  I don’t have to agree with what I read but I need to know what I’m attempting to practice.

5. I need to take time each day to get in touch with my spiritual side.  Of course, good luck in figuring out how to best do that.

Diet – Area for Improvement

Hmm… this is probably the easiest of the bunch.

1. I need to track everything.  This is not just for WW but because I am an idiot.  I think I know what I’m eating, I think I know when I’ve had enough.  But I don’t. I really don’t.

2. I need to eat better.  This is not just about tracking food but also about making sure that the stuff I do eat is good.  This is less processed food and more vegetables.

3. I need to plan out my meals well in advance.  My last second attempts to cook rarely go as well as they should. And if I have a plan, I know how to make better choices when I have to shift from plan.

4. I need to eat at home more.  I eat out way, way too much.  This is not only bad for my wallet but also for my stomach.

5. I need to keep trying new things.  How many years did I despise fish? How about not cooking with coconut milk? It’s important to keep my eyes.. err… taste buds open.

Leisure – Areas for Improvement

Oh leisure.   This is where I’m supposed to relax.  This is for the things I love to do.  Hmm.

1. I need to evaluate my hobbies.  Am I enjoying them or just doing them for the sake of filling time?  And are their things I’ve stopped doing that I wish I was doing again?

2. I need to think about writing. I enjoy it but my muse is kind of… not here.  I have a journal set up for it and I need to start using it.

3. I need to write about my hobbies.  I need to remember why I do them.

Leisure is a tricky subject. I need to learn how to relax but I don’t know how.  In fact, I’m struggling what to really write here. I think that says volumes.

Fitness – Areas for Improvement

Considering how pathetically weak I realized I am at Physical Therapy, I know what I have to improve.

1. I need to do more cardio.  If I don’t get my heart rate up at least 30 minutes a day, I’m not improving my health and more so, I’m not going to help my mental state either.

2. I need to improve my core muscles.  My neck and shoulders are shot from the joys of being a programmer.  I need to concentrate on increasing my muscles.

3.  I need to not sit at my desk all day.  The best way to do this is with the pedometer.  I need to hit 10,000 steps a day.

4. I need to get back into yoga.  It is the only thing that improved my flexibility.  There are also the other benefits to mental health that comes with it.

5. I need to go to the gym.  It should be part of my daily regime.  To do that,  I need to make exercise a priority and schedule it.

Mental Health – Areas for Improvement

Looking back at the examination, this is what I think I need to do.

1. The medication is not really doing much.  There’s some relief from panic attacks but my original reason for going back on it, relieving the depression, is not working.  So I need to wean myself off it.

2. I need a purpose in life.  I need to do what most people think is silly.  I need a mission statement.

3. I need to increase my exercise.  Weaning myself off the medication is only the first step.  I need a plan in place to help myself return to normal.

4. I need to cut back on things in order to decrease my stress.  This means learning how to say ‘no’.

5. I need to schedule ‘me’ time.  This time will be used to relax and put my mind back into balance.

Home Life – Areas for Improvement

So in examining my home life I have come to the conclusion that these are the area which I can improve.

1. I need to be home more.  Whether this means less social time or learning to say no to obligations, most of my home life problems are related to not being here enough.

2. I need a cleaning plan.  More then just having one, I need to follow it.  There are chores that should be done daily, weekly, monthly, etc.  I need to separate these and assign dates and task in Outlook to keep myself on top of it.

3. I need a kitty care plan.  He does well enough left alone but I know he could be doing better if I cared for him a bit more.  Not spoil him any more(I don’t think that’s possible) but make sure he’s got what he needs.

4. I need to green up my house.  That is the plants green, not the ecology green (though we do some of that already).

5. I have organized and cleaned, now I need to start purging stuff.  This includes books and DVDs.  Things that I kind of enjoyed but don’t really need anymore.  If I have to put these in storage first before determining if they can really go, so be it.

Work - Examination

Ah work.  First things first.  Work is not life.  Life is not work.  Work should not be the only way I define my life.  It should be what I do in order to get the money to do those things that define my life.

Work should be fun and for the most part it is.  I like the people that I work with and for now, the work is fairly interesting.  I think the real problem is that work isn’t just a fun way to pass nine hours.  It really does matter to me.

That’s not necessarily bad. I like my company, I want to do a good job. But the company doesn’t always show me that it likes me back.  So it’s easy to get frustrated and think that this is all worthless.

My real problem is I can’t concentrate because I don’t have a real plan. I try to think of things to do throughout the day but I get easily distracted.  I waste a lot of time and thus end up doing less then I could.

I also want to advance in my career but I have very little respect for me and my decisions.  This is something that I get better with with experience but at the same time, without a constant stream of feedback I tend to assume that I’m not a bad job.

However, even if I do enjoy working, I really need to work on a my work-life balance.  I can’t come home and still be thinking of work.  I need to separate my home from work.

Spirituality - Examination

You’re not supposed to talk about spirituality.  After all as a modern woman who has a firm basis in science, spirituality should play little to no part in your life. 

Actually that’s completely false. Many years ago, in my biology years, a professor told me that most people assumed biologists were atheists but in truth, some of the most spiritual people were biologists.  And after learning more and more about evolution, how incredibly lucky we are to be where we are, well…

I’m Christian by birth and for the most part, I’ve learned to like my religion.  Not necessarily agree with everything but then change does come from within so I see no reason to leave the group because of a few ideological differences.  But does going to Church and wearing a cross make me a spiritual person?

In the end, no it doesn’t.  Not if going is more an obligation then a choice.  Not if it’s not a conscious decision to respect it every day and not just Sunday.

The truth is that while I love my church, it’s not a real part of my life.  It’s not something I look forward to.  And it’s something that is much more obligation then choice.

And this feeling seeps into other aspects of my life.  There a feeling of lack of purpose and imbalance that hounds me every day.  I can take care of physical and mental, I’ve done it before.  But I’m not sure that I will really be in balance if I don’t examine this last crucial part of who I am.

Diet - Examination

The entry to this post should be a lot of laughter.  My diet has been pretty bad this year.  I’m not talking about ‘diet’ in terms of losing weight, though that’s somewhat related.  I’m talking about what I’m eating.

Well, most of it is good actually.  I cook our lunches and I’ve enjoyed making soups that are good for us as well as made from fresh ingredients.  I slack a bit on dinner but when I do cook, it’s just as good as lunch.

The real issue is what happens when I am not in direct control of food.  We go out to eat and I do okay sometimes or just go completely overboard.  The real issue is that I don’t enjoy what I’m eating most of the time.

For the most part, we go to the same restaurants and they’re not really high end.  Most of the time I go there, I feel like I’m eating out of obligation not enjoyment. 

I’m also still eating way too fast.  It’s very difficult to enjoy food if it’s gone before you get a feel for what it tastes like.  This is just part of the crowd I hang out with.  Sometimes I feel like its a race.  And the only thing I win at the end is an overly full stomach and dissatisfaction.

The final problem is that I’m always hungry.  Sometimes this passes but usually it’s because I grab whatever’s within range and eat it.  Most of the time this is junk food. 

I get enough fish but I’m also starting to worry that I’m not getting enough red meat.  In any case, what I need here is balance.